Eis a descrição de um carnaval frustante.
Sexta-feira
Plena sexta-feira antecedente ao carnaval, já estávamos a tomar um passport só para animar.
18h da noite, já estava a preparar as malas. Entrei no carro e fui pegar o meu companheiro de viagem, o afranemal. Compramos dois red labels, 8 red bulls e 1 litro de ypioca orgânica.
O itinerário do carnaval seria:
sexta e sábado = São benedito;
domingo = Viçosa e Tianguá;
segunda e terça = Camocim.
21h10, estávamos no meio da estrada entre Reriutaba e Guaraciaba, aguardando o motor do carro esfriar para tentar chegar até uma cidade, pois o celular não pegava, assim, não dava para ligar para o seguro.
22h, conseguimos chegar em Guaraciaba do Norte. Paramos num restaurante, fizemos aquela "forra" para aguentar a putaria mais tarde.
23h, estávamos passando o líquido da garrafa de red label para uma garrafa plástico, enchemos os bolsos de red bull e começamos a festa.
4h, encontramos uns amigos, e conhecemos um novo amigo que convidou-nos para a fazenda do pai dele. E nós fomos.
4h30 até as 7h. Bebemos um litro de ypioca ouro em frente a um boteco, no meio de uma estrada carroçal.
7h30. Sonos até 9h30.
Sábado
9h30. Pegamos o carro e fomos para Guaraciaba, procurar um mecânico para ver o problema do aquecimento.
9h30 até as 18h. Pelejamos e pelejamos. Andei com o radiador de um lado para o outro, debaixo de chuva, procurando um novo radiador. Final das contas: Chamei o guincho e voltei para casa.
Mas enquanto o guincho não chegava. Tomamos mais de um litro de cana com os mecânicos que ficaram nossos chapas.
Chegamos em casa as 1h30. Foi o jeito ir dormir.
Domingo
O desanimo tinha tomando conta de todo o meu ser. Realmente, a mãe putaria tinha me traído. Fui abandonado por quem eu mais fui fiel.
Mas como a putaria escreve torto mesmo...ela enviou um amigo que ficou me dando corda para irmos à Camocim. Como muito esforço, o Jander conseguiu me convencer.
15h30, estávamos dentro do ônibus, passamos 3 horas em pé (como a fiscalização permite isso?). Eu, com meus conhecimentos ninjas, dormi em pé no ônibus, parte da viagem. A outra parte, eu escutei a saga completa de um Forrest Gump que estava ao meu lado.
19h, desci em Camocim, deixei a bolsa na casa da tia do Kelson. Eu ía me hospedar na mesma casa do Jander. Fui saber onde o Marcão estava hospedado. Achamos o Chico, compramos e bebemos 2 litros de teacher. Ficamos bêbedo, fomos para a festa na rua.
Segunda-feira
Acordei de um susto querendo saber onde eu estou. Quando vi que o cara da rede ao lado era o Chico, acalmei-me e descobri a minha localização geográfica. Espero o Chico acordar. Ele empresta-me uma blusa e vamos para a praia.
Obs: Minha bolsa agora estava onde o Jander estava hospedado.
Dia na praia. Lá só tinha cerveja quente. Final do dia, mela-mela na rua. 2 litros de cachaça. Eu fiquei branco de goma. Tacaram 3 vezes goma nos meus olhos. Começou a chover. Tudo que a minha professora de saneamento básico falou para não fazermos, fizemos nas poças de lama.
Até que chegou uma hora que o mela-mela acabou. Fui para a casa onde o Chico estava hospedado. Minha bolsa estava lá. Mas a casa estava fechada. Resumo: nos acomodamos na calçada mesmo, cochilamos por meia hora embaixo de chuva (não tinha onde se abrigar). Esse foi o meu banho de limpeza. Quando conseguimos entrar na casa. Enxuguei-me, coloquei roupas secas. Cochilei por uma hora. Tentei acordar o Chico, mas ele estava morto e bêbedo. Sai de lá com minha coisas, e deixei-as na casa onde o Marcão estava hospedado. Fui para a festa de rua. Dancei. Molhei-me na chuva. Bebi cervas do isopor do Marcão. Depois fui para a casa que o Marcão estava hospedado. Fiquei deitado lá por 1h esperando dar 4h30 para depois irmos a rodoviária atrás de um transporte para voltar. Depois o Jander chegou da casa onde ele estava hospedado (e eu também, mas eu não consegui chegar até lá), fomos buscar o Kelson na casa dele. E fomos para a rodoviária.
Terça-feira
Arranjamos um microônibus, fomos dormindo, sentado, com tudo que tinha direito, boca aberta com baba, roncos e torcicolos. Mas chegamos inteiros, dando graças a Deus.
Resto do dia: morgação total mesmo
Quarta-feira
Mais morgação.
Bem, para alguém que já estava com o carnaval arruinado, acho que foi até bonzinho o meu.
by afranemal
ResponderExcluirasfjalskjflaksfjlaksjfalskfjlkas
mah, faltou a informação do afróvel levando-os para a rodoviária = meio caminho para a putaria :/
mas foi massa doido, altas aventuras ae e tal durante o carnaval. ano que vem vamos para alguma putaria toda a galera, pois ir galeras divididas é moh picardia
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